Standing Here
by Hero of Little Iggys
Summary: When will you realize that I never left you? That I’ve been standing here all along? - USxUK AlfredxArthur Drabble of sorts


_AN: So, I was up at 5:00 in the morning texting my friend, and I was watching some USxUK slideshows on youtube, and one picture consistently presented itself to me, one that I find particularly intriguing. Well really, it was several different pictures, but all of the same thing~ Alfred standing behind Arthur, the elder of the two either holding a child Alfred, or holding hands with him. So, this is what resulted, and it was a kind of practice for myself on first person POV~ My thoughts were scrambled from lack of sleep, and I couldn't seem to get to the point, but it doesn't look to bad! (I hope... =_= )_

_Please tell me what you think! And I hope it's not too horribly bad! ^_^"_

**_Pairing: USxUK / AlfredxArthur_**

******_Rating: It would be T, but I'm going through my ANs and making sure they're kiddo-friendly, so at the most, K+ for mentions of gayness~_**

**_Word Count: 735 on Word... 737 on ... whut?_**

**_Warnings: Repitition for emphasis, BL, First POV (because that is a warning in itself…)_**

**_Summary: __When will you realize that I never left you? That I've been standing here all along?_**

* * *

I tell you I love you, and you respond with the most beautiful of smiles and the customary, "I love you too."

But are you really telling _me_ that?

* * *

_I remember the way you laughed, the magical ring that would always brighten my day with it's sound._

_I remember the way you held me close, to protect me from things I had yet to even know of, so close to your heart, so close to your love._

_I remember how safe I felt in your arms, how happy it made me, how happy it made you._

_I remember how you could never say 'no' to me, all I'd have to do was pout and you were already convinced._

_I remember that, and then I remember the revolution. My revolution. When I broke away from you and lost all that happiness._

_You say you were hurt, and I know you were. But did you really think that I wasn't hurting myself as well?_

_Why do you think it was raining the day of my independence?_

_I threw away all that happiness I had with you, my heaven, for my people, for my own sake. It was like ripping my heart out._

_Afterwords, you stood and turned away. What happened after that Arthur?_

_We didn't talk for the longest time. But even when we did…_

* * *

I stood there. Right behind you, facing your back with a smile and a greeting on my mouth, a hand raised in a wave. But then I saw what you were really seeing. Instead of turning and greeting me in return, instead of acknowledging me at all, you had stuck yourself in some fictional world where I was still the perfect little boy you cared for all those years. And you weren't willing to come out.

I stood there so many times, an equal number of times I spoke to you. You never once turned around, you never once looked at _me_. You never once looked at _who I'd become_. You never noticed me, you noticed the younger version of me that was long gone.

We talked, we fixed our relationship to be on good terms with one another. But while I was still trying to get your attention, all you could focus on, all you could talk about, was how cute I'd been as a child, how much of a good boy I'd been. I always ignored this.

And then I fell in love with you. You were already in love with me.

You'd turned around, of that I was sure, you'd finally noticed me. You'd left that skewed world behind, you'd learned to love the man I was now. I'd apologized and you'd forgiven me, and together we'd moved on.

But then I noticed the subtle things you did. That faraway gaze. You'd never stopped talking about myself as a child. That was a constant subject that continued long into our relationship. The way you'd hold me as if I was going to disappear the next moment. The longing, almost solemn touches you would give me.

I stood there. I'm standing here. Close enough to touch you, but I don't for fear that if I do you'll run away. You smile that bright, happy smile, and lift a child above your head that is the spitting image of my younger self. That child is not there, because I'm standing right here.

Did you ever really turn around?

You love me, you were in love with me when I admitted to my own feelings. But is it really me you love? Or are you in love with who I used to be?

I stood there. I'm standing here. I will stand here. For however long it takes for you to realize what you've been doing and put the child down to let him run off to become who he's meant to be. However long it takes you to remember who I am and turn around to direct that smile at me. However long it takes you to accept what has transpired and walk towards me. However long it takes you to fall in love with who I am today, and embrace me with the love you showed my younger self, but this time truly, only, for me.

_When will you realize that I never left you? That I've been standing here all along?_

_How long will I have to wait, Arthur?_


End file.
